Though some have, I would never recommend putting out a dime for graduate school. Look for a teaching assistantship (you’re going to need that experience if you want to teach at a college–community or 4-year) or a research assistantship (my GA was considered a research assistantship because I didn’t teach, though I worked as an editorial assistant for a journal on campus). The U of W-Madison is a huge school–they should have 20 or 30 teaching assistantships available. We have over 30 here at EMU. And the research assistantships number near 30, as well, because you can find work in other departments (Admissions, School of Education, etc.).

Look for scholarships the department and/or school may have. I’m not sure what the university you are interested in attending has, but EMU has fellowships for grad students. They usually aren’t huge–just enough to help curb the cost of books and fees. But they’re something.

A graduate assistantship is the best, but you should be able to get some help–if only just a little.

But from a purely practical and realistic point of view – are you sure that now is the time to pay out a massive amount of money for an MFA? I definitely think it is something that you should do for the future – I don’t know you, but I have been following your various blogs for some time and you are certainly a gifted writer with a gentle yet strong ability to turn words into something magical.

I entered law school thinking that the astronomical amount of money I was paying in tuition wouldn’t matter so much when I graduated and started making good money. Alas, employment opportunities were few and I have no passion for legal work. Of course you have a passion for writing so we are different, but is getting a job teaching English at the college level really possible with just an MFA and limited experience, no matter how extraordinarily gifted you are?

I feel mean, Gentle Willow, but I am not trying to be harsh. I just identify with the general experience and would not like to see you financially drown.

I suggest travel as a balm for the new and interesting. A different city, a different state, a change of pace, a finding of oneself.

I wish you sunshine and starlight to guide your way.

And I love Jessie’s suggestions and am going to use some of them for myself! :)

I keep thinking that might doubt is going to disappear, but I’m beginning to learn that it just aint that easy and so I’m going to share with you a few things that I do to ease the pain a bit. You can do what you want with them…
*write in my journal every last thought until i don’t have anything no matter how redundant i am…eventually i get sick enough of myself that my story starts to change.
*start a “wish box.” write all your wishes, dreams and desires onto beautiful little pieces of paper and put them into the box.
*start a “gratitude box” to put all those wishes in that came true. ;)
*do collages for the way you want your life to look…and then believe in its beauty.
*be PRO-ACTIVE! put yourself out there–fearlessly, shamelessly. you want it? go get it.
*surround yourself in positive thinking–books, blogs, friends…
*avoid negative thinking and naysayers.
*don’t give up. and what I mean by that is do NOT stop believing in yourself or your dream. it would be a pity if you stopped working towards your dream just before it was about to happen!
*remind yourself often that the universe WILL take care of you. learn to let go of the stuff you can’t control and let the universe take care of it for you.
*be open to the unexpected! heck, you might even want to start expecting it. ;)

ok…how’s that? :) i’ll tell you what…it helps me just writing this list! i don’t thing the struggle ever goes away totally. all i know is that you are a beautiful, intelligent, sensitive, shining person–and i believe in you!

Nice to see you again.

LOVELY bike manifestation.

much love — Pandora

(I used to Create Textiles)

I’ve yet to even come close to existing within the “safe zone” of my dreams. I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get there. But the best thing I know how to do right now is just keep going in small ways, in ways that bring me even the tiniest feeling of satisfaction.

I can’t help but think that you are well on your way…just by knowing that this is going on inside of you. I think that awareness is a true sign that progress has already been made.

Much love and good fortune to you!
j.